relationship protips (romantic, platonic, or otherwise)
If you’ve hurt, upset, angered, or betrayed the trust of someone you care about, do not make your apology about you.
that means avoid:
- "I feel so shitty about what I’ve done"
- "I don’t expect you to forgive me but"
- "I hope we can still be friends"
- "Please don’t hate me"
- "I’m scared of losing you"
- "I don’t want this come between us / ruin our relationship"
- "I know you’re hurting but think about how guilty I feel"
Your guilt and negative feelings are understandable, but the person you wronged does not need to hear them right now. Intentional or not, when you tell this person all these things, you are trying to win forgiveness with pity and guilt. That is not true forgiveness.
Forgiveness has to be earned. It comes from reconciliation and closure and time.
Prove that you fully understand what you did wrong and never do it again. That goes infinitely further than just saying how bad you feel. If you need to vent about your bad feelings find a third party to talk to about it. The person you hurt does not need to soothe your feelings when they’re still trying to cope with their own.
to cook breakfast, simply apply scrabbled eggs to any leftovers